Natalia Shtefanek came to psychology after losing her partner. Later, she began to help people who, as she once did, are grieving for their loved ones. When the full-scale invasion began, Natalia focused her efforts on soldiers and their families, as well as civilians affected by the war.
"People's psyches are being rebuilt to meet the needs of war, which will require re-adaptation when they return to peaceful environments and normal societal values. My task is to guide people through this process and help them to comprehend their experiences."
In her casework, Natalia has found that soldiers return to civilian life is a long and difficult process. The horrors of war, loss of comrades-in-arms, and moral trauma have a devastating effect.
The consequences of these traumas can manifest themselves suddenly or after a long period of time. Timely and professional psychological assistance enables defenders to gradually adapt to the realities of civilian life, as well as to minimize and even avoid the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
"Among my clients, I observe the phenomenon of post-traumatic growth.
Some people who have faced a traumatic event - despite the feelings of loss, sadness, and pain - reassessed their lives, learned to love more deeply, and gained confidence in themselves."
Natalia shared a case which illustrated the complexity of re-adjusting soldiers from "danger" mode to the "home" mode.
This spring, the wife of a soldier called Natalia after her husband returned from war seriously injured.
"Any experience like this changes a person, and the loss of physical abilities always changes a lot, because you become dependent on your family. I help to comprehend these changes.
It is vital for family members to understand that no matter how closely you knew the person before the war, they will come home as a 'stranger,' and you will need to know him/her anew. After an injury, a person needs a recovery period in a hospital, then a period of adaptation.
Time alone is not enough. Social connections and interactions are important. They are the only way to help a person learn from their difficult experiences. But it is maintaining relationships during this period that is most difficult.
Psychological problems are consequences of uncomprehended experience. This is an evolutionary mechanism. Those who felt anxious about new experiences were more likely to comprehend them and, as a result, survive more often. This usually works well. But when there is too much experience, there is also too much anxiety. This prevents a person from calming down, feeling safe, and reflecting on the experience.
The stronger the sense of danger, the sharper the division into "friends and foes". The more demands this person has upon his/her loved ones, and the faster he/she is likely to label people as enemies."
At the beginning of therapy, the soldier hid the changes he underwent and tried to appear to his family as he was before, Natalia noted.
A side effect of this behavior was a strong internal tension from constant self-control, which led to outbursts of anger and irritation. This aggressive behavior alienated his family and friends.
At that moment, the man opted for what he considered a safer alternative - to keep a distance from his family. As a rule, such behavior leads to a decrease in stress resistance and motivation to act, but significantly increases the risk of developing PTSD and even suicide.
A person is afraid of being rejected, so they feel vulnerable. In an effort to protect themselves in battle, a person puts on armor and a helmet. At home, the exact same pattern occurs, Natalia explains.
"A person comes back home in 'armor and helmet.' If you try to remove their protection, they may become even more frightened and start to resist.
If you want to help, your task is to create conditions in which the person will start removing their armor on their own. And for that, they have to feel safe."
